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13 Insecurities You Can Totally Blame On Mainstream Porn

It can be really hard to watch mainstream porn and not start making comparisons. “Should I suck in my belly when I’m on top? Was the noise my vagina just made super weird? Do I smell? Am I too hairy? Should I get my butthole bleached?” Those are all legit things that have gone through my mind during sex that I can link directly back to mainstream porn — but that doesn’t mean I’m anti-porn. It's just got me thinking about how porn makes us feel.

Carlyle Jansen, sex educator and co-founder of the Toronto sex toy shop Good For Her and the Feminist Porn Awards, tells Bustle that, in her experience and the experience of her clients, insecurities around porn fall into two main categories: appearance and performance. Those categories tend to cover people of all genders, races, and sexualities, but if you belong to anything outside the “mainstream” (read: white, heterosexual, young, and thin) then you have a whole other set of potential issues when it comes to porn. “So often, anyone who’s not young, white or thin is fetishized,” Jansen says. “So they might not like how they’re portrayed on screen either. I especially find that fat women are put down for being fat as opposed to being celebrated for being fat.”

Porn is a pretty integral part of our intimate lives these days but the amazing thing about the internet is that we now have access to so many kinds of porn. If the mainstream stuff is getting you down, don’t watch it. Check out some alternative porn options — like basically everything that has ever won a Feminist Porn Award — and see what works for you.

And speaking of alternative porn, Cindy Gallop, the founder of MakeLoveNotPorn, — who has been quoted time and time again saying that's she's "pro-sex, pro-porn, and pro-knowing the difference" — thinks that the blame for these insecurities lies not on pornography but on how our society deals with sex.

"I'm frustrated about the fact that we keep laying issues at porn's door, that should be laid at society's," Gallop tells Bustle. "If we were fully accepting of the fact that we're all sexual beings; if we took the shame and embarrassment out of sex and normalized it by teaching our children about it as early as possible; if social media platforms welcomed the sharing of sexual self-expression and self-identification as much as the sharing of everything else — then everyone would know that all labia look different; that any size penis is fine, that people come in wonderfully individual ways that may or may not involve audibility; that just the fact that you are taking off your clothes makes the other person ridiculously grateful just to be there; that you don't have to deep throat to give a great blow job; and that jackhammering can be painful, unpleasant and unwelcome."

So porn is the symptom, while society's treatment of sex is the disease. However, it's a very visible, very blame-able symptom and while we're working on creating a more sex-positive society, here are 13 insecurities from porn that a lot of you are probably very familiar with. 

1. Anxiety About The Shape Or Size Of Your Labia

Labia in mainstream porn tend to have even lips and no hair at all. While that’s fine for those women, your labia might have long outer lips or no outer lips or lots of hair or sparse hair or uneven or… You get the idea. Labia and vulvas are unique to every person who has one but the ones we see in mainstream porn would have you believing something else. To counter that message, Jansen recommends checking out a book called I’ll Show You Mine, which includes 120 photographs of 60 different vulvas. 

2. Thinking That You’re Not Making Enough Noise

Just because porn stars scream the walls down doesn’t mean you have to. If your orgasms are quieter — or don’t include any sound at all — that’s totally fine. It’s really easy to fall into imitation of the noises porn stars make but the best sex is sex that’s authentic to you and if that doesn’t include noise? That’s awesome.

3. Worrying About Your O-Face

The close-up of women “orgasming" is popular in mainstream porn but just like you know how to make a certain face for your best selfies, porn stars know how to make their “best” face for those shots. Faces do all kinds of weird things when people orgasm. It doesn’t have to look one way or another and no matter how it looks, it’s conveying pleasure. And that’s hot. 

4. Thinking Your Partner's Penis Is Too Small

You know that porn penises are larger than average to massive, right? Don’t ever, ever compare your partner's penis to the ones you see in porn. If you're digging what they're doing — whether it’s with their dick or their hands or their mouth or that awesome toy you love — they're doing it right. A bigger penis does not necessarily equal better sex.

5. Feeling Like Your Weight Is Wrong

There are approximately a million different cultural influences telling us that our weight is wrong and porn is one of them. I just want to remind you that your body is beautiful and your partner thinks your body is beautiful too. 

6. Worrying That You’re Not Good At Taking Off Your Clothing

Um, has someone invented a sexy way to take off jeans yet? Because I’m bad AF at it. Oh yeah, socks too. Seriously guys, sex is silly and the taking clothing off part is often one of the silliest parts. Don’t ever feel like you’re doing it “wrong” just because you can’t strip out of all of your clothing in less than a second, all while slithering sexily. There’s a reason why the de-robing part is rarely included in mainstream porn.

7. Not Being Able To Deep Throat

Just because porn stars can take it way down doesn’t mean you have to. Deep throating is a skill that those people have developed and if you want to develop it, that’s awesome! But it’s sure not a requirement. I don’t have a penis but I've heard that blow jobs can be just as great (and maybe even sometimes better) without.

8. Not Being Able To Have Really Hard Intercourse

I know it’s an eighth grade boy term but we do call it getting “banged” for a reason. Most body parts that can be penetrated, be it a mouth or a vagina or a butt, can’t take a serious “banging” for a prolonged period of time. And if the penis or sex toy is particularly large? Forget about it! Once again, the stuff you see in mainstream porn is done by professionals. They’ve worked up to that point. Don’t feel bad if you never get there — that’s not the only way to have sex.

9. Thinking Your Boobs/Butt/Waist Is Too Big Or Too Small

More body image stuff — ugh, right? Our culture has a very narrow view of what “beauty” is. Remind yourself of that the next time you find yourself worrying that some part of your body isn’t “right” compared to the body of a porn star. 

10. Feeling Bad About Not Liking Anal Sex

Anal has become more and more popular both onscreen and off but that doesn’t mean that anyone is obligated to do it. If you love it, awesome! If you don’t? Awesome! You are allowed to have preferences about the sex acts you will and won’t do, including popular ones.

11. Worrying That You’re Orgasming Wrong — Or Because You Don’t Orgasm

Mainstream porn orgasms tend to be pretty uniform but everyone’s orgasm is different. And you know what? Sometimes people don’t orgasm and as long they’re OK with that, that’s perfectly fine too. 

12. Feeling Weird Because You Don't Ejaculate

“Unfortunately female ejaculation is the latest party trick,” Jansen says. “I think that porn sometimes sensationalizes that and makes you feel inadequate if you don’t.”

But not everyone does! And that’s OK! Some bodies can do it; some bodies can’t; but all bodies having orgasms however they orgasm are awesome. 

13. Thinking You’re Doing Kink Wrong

While the conversations, negotiations, and consent that are necessary for a good and safe kink experience are often modeled in alternative porn, mainstream porn tends to go right for the intense stuff. Jansen also points out that even the kinky stuff you see in mainstream porn tends to follow specific plot lines. Kink is wide and varied and involves a lot of talking. Don’t believe everything you see on the computer screen. 

Remember, just because you see a lot of the same looks and sex acts repeated in mainstream porn, there's certainly not just one way to look sexy or one way to have sex with a partner — and that's one of the most beautiful things about sex in real life.

Images: Andrew Zaeh for Bustle; Giphy (13)

Everything Straight People Don’t Realize About Gay Sex

We have preferences, like top and bottom

We want to know if our partners are tops, bottoms, power bottoms, or versatile. These aren't just arbitrary labels. They help us figure out who's comfortable doing what -- and that, my friend, is sex-positive. Helping your partner get the most pleasure out of sex is something we should all strive for, and when both are capable of penetration, it's even more necessary.

I know you're wondering, so: A power bottom is a man who both receives the penetration and dominates during sex, taking control of things like speed, depth, and position.

No, there isn't a guy and a girl

"So, who's the guy and who's the girl?" Smh. This is no place for heteronormativity, people. A gay man is still a man regardless of whether he prefers to top or bottom. Restrictive gender roles have no place in any relationship, and certainly not a gay one. If both men identify as men, then they're men.

The Sex Toy Revolution: Meet Two Women Changing a Game, One Crowdsourced Vibrator during a Time

Around the same time, Fine, who hails from Long Island, New York, and has a master's degree in clinical psychology from Columbia University, was living in Brooklyn and working at Babo Botanicals, which makes a wide range of organic products for children. Throughout her education, Fine had repeatedly learned about the "pleasure gap"—a term used to describe the fact that only one-quarter of women reliably orgasm during intercourse and that, according to a 2009 study by Indiana University, just 64 percent of women reported having an orgasm during their most recent sexual event, compared with 91 percent of men. Fine was alarmed by those results and vowed to find a way to narrow the gap. She started thinking about how sex toys could help, given that several studies have found that 70 percent of women need clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm. "I felt like there was a clear lack of understanding of women's needs among the products that were on the market," Fine says.

The "pleasure gap": only one-quarter of women reliably orgasm during intercourse.

The women independently began attending networking events to pick entrepreneurs' brains about getting their ideas off the ground, and kept hearing about each other. "People either thought that we were the same person or that we were already working together, because there aren't that many young women in Brooklyn starting a sex-toy company at any given moment," Fine says. "About the third time that someone mistook me for her, I said, 'OK, do you have this girl's contact info? I should just meet up with her,'" Lieberman recalls. The women met for breakfast in Manhattan's West Village in June 2014 and bonded over their mutual goal over yogurt, granola, and bacon. They were especially excited about the opportunity in the market for their products. "The people making sex toys at the time weren't people who got into the industry to champion female sexuality," Lieberman says. "They got into the industry because they wanted something else to make money on in addition to selling porn. When that's the root of the industry, you can understand why [products are made] without understanding what women want or need." They thought the industry was ready for their innovations. "There's been a recent wave acknowledging that women also have sexual needs," Lieberman says. "When that culture shift happened, it created a great opportunity for women's pleasure products. These are not gag gifts at bachelorette parties—these are products many women use every day."

Looking back on it now, Fine says, that breakfast was the moment the company started. Not much was discussed during the initial meeting—not even working styles or how they would interact with each other—but the women liked and trusted each other enough that they decided to build their dreams together.

Fine says her parents were supportive from the beginning ("They were already used to me wanting to be a sex therapist, so ... "), but Lieberman's parents took a little more convincing. She told her parents about her idea before she started the company (she describes it as a "coming out" process) and gave them veto power. They were "very anxious," but ultimately, "my mom said her job as a parent isn't to support me in following her dreams," Lieberman says. "It's to support me in following mine." Now, they brag about her accomplishments all the time. "My parents know the values they taught me are the reasons why I wanted to start this company," she says. "Consumers deserve to feel like the products they get are well-made and a good value." Still, her "very Catholic" mother hasn't told her church choir and worries she'd have to change congregations if they ever found out.

Four months after Fine and Lieberman met, the Indiegogo campaign went live. The response was so huge and immediate that neither of them had time for much else. Lieberman recalls being unable to process a recent breakup (she and her boyfriend split a week or two before the launch): "I remember telling myself, 'A week from now, I will have emotions about this, but this week, I have to work.'" Within five days, they had hit their initial goal of $50,000. Then, the very next day, while Lieberman was out on a Tinder date, they hit the $100,000 mark. "I hadn't even gotten the chance to drink champagne yet," she says. The campaign ended in December and they ultimately brought in over $800,000—making Eva the top-funded adult product on any online fundraising platform to date.

Fine and Lieberman scrambled to fill the 6,000 orders that came via Indiegogo. They didn't have a lab of their own yet, so they holed up inside Fine's dad's office space on Long Island (he owns a cleaning business, which Fine calls "literally the least sexy company"). "We took over their conference room for six months," Fine says. "Everyone in the office knew we were making vibrators and thought it was really funny." They conducted user surveys and tweaked the prototype's design during the day, and made calls to China (where the product is manufactured) to hammer out details at night. "At the time, Janet and I had only known each other for a matter of months," Fine says. "I remember feeling so appreciative that she was there to pull all-nighters with me." After the crowdfunding campaign ended, they began selling Eva exclusively on their website for $105; since then, they've sold around 35,000.

The campaign ended in December and they ultimately brought in over $800,000—making Eva the top-funded adult product on any online fundraising platform to date.

One of their early users was Meredith, 30, who volunteered to test Eva along with her boyfriend of three years, who had attended MIT with Lieberman. "It's a totally different kind of product," says Meredith, who wished to be identified only by her first name. "For me, it was really strong—stronger than anything I'd experienced before." Another customer, Kylie Stone, 43, purchased Eva to use with her husband, who is nearly a foot taller than her. Because of the height difference, most sex toys are awkward for them to use. "I'm so lucky," she says. "With Eva, I don't have to worry about that anymore." She calls the toy "revolutionary," praising Fine and Lieberman for listening to what women want, and credits the toy for taking her sex life to "a completely different level."

Once the Eva craze died down, Fine and Lieberman began thinking about Dame's second product. By then, they'd moved into their lab in Greenpoint and hired five employees (they hired a sixth this July). They brainstormed as many ideas as possible, and the designers and engineers created prototypes of the most promising ideas. Within a few weeks, they had settled on creating a finger vibrator, after identifying the product category as on the rise and in need of innovation. They talked to sex-toy-shop owners, Eva users, and those who signed up to be testers on their site, asking questions like: How would you want to use a finger vibe? What features would you like it to have? What do you anticipate your main complaints would be?

12 Best Sex Positions For 2017

Trying out new sex positions is pretty much the
spice of life. Or, at the very least, the best way to keep things spicy in the
bedroom. While no one will ever say it’s wrong to stick to only a few favorite sex positions, when you switch things up and open your mind (and body) to other
positions, you’re building intimacy with your partner, as well as
furthering your own sexual exploration. Now that’s an exploration that will
never get old, nor will you ever stop discovering new things if you continue
to experiment alone
or with a partner.

If you don’t have time for the Kama Sutra, then maybe what
you need is a 12-month calendar of sex positions to try out. It will give you
one more sexual resolution to add to your list for the upcoming year and will get you and your
partner not just experimenting, but excited about what’s up next month. “OMG!
OMG! I hope it’s The Lotus,” is what I can literally hear everyone screaming out
collective at this very moment.

While we may still have a couple months until 2017, it’s
actually going to creep up on us pretty damn fast. So, let’s start planning,
shall we? Here are 12 sex positions for 2017.

1. January:  Spooning

How to do it: Lying in a spoon position, which means both
of you on your sides facing the same direction, your partner penetrates you
from this angle. From here, you can either stimulate your clitoris or your
partner can reach down and do it for you.

Why it’s good for January: Well, January is a cold month. Some
years, it’s so cold that people just live in their bed or on the couch, under
the covers for days on end, waiting for the spring. What this means is that you’re
probably already cuddling a lot in bed, so you’re most likely already in this
position and voila! Spooning sex!

2. February:  Missionary With A Pillow

How to do it: While lying on your back with a pillow under your hips, your partner gets
between your legs and penetrates you from above, so to speak, with their body is parallel to yours.

Why it’s good for February: Again, we have a very cold
month, so body heat is key. It’s also February, which is the lovey-dovey month
that contains Valentine’s Day. So a position that’s
both great for warmth and intimacy is ideal. Missionary, because you’re looking your
partner straight in the eyes, is pretty damn intimate.

3. March: Kneeling Reach-Around

How to do it: While in the doggy
style position
(as in on your hands and knees, as your partner
penetrates you from behind), your partner reaches around to stimulate you. They can do this with
either a toy or their hand.

Why it’s good for March: March is that month where the snow
starts to melt and little buds start popping up out of the ground. In other
words, life is being sprung all around you, so it just makes perfect sense that
you and your partner would try a position that has a little something extra
thrown into the mix.

4. April: Reverse Cowgirl

How to do it: With your partner lying on their back,
straddle their hips, while facing away from them. Then, lower yourself onto your partner and start grinding.

Why it’s good for April: It’s officially spring! The days
are getting longer and you’re feeling so alive that you want to just get
on top and take total charge of things
while your partner just lies there
and enjoys it. You’ve shaken the winter from your bones and you’re ready to
have some fun, dammit!

5. May: The Lotus

How to do it: Have your partner sit with their legs crossed — you know, like you did when you were a kid and it was story time. Next, with
your legs on either side of their legs, lower yourself into their lap and onto
them, while wrapping your legs and arms around their body. Then you begin to rock together. 

Why it’s good for May: With summer just around the corner,
you might as well get the positions that are close, body wise, out of the way.
It’s also a sex
position that builds intimacy
, which is great for all those long days
of summer ahead — having a strong intimate connection with your partner might
prevent you from from dramatically breaking up with them in August when the air
conditioner decides it doesn't want to work on the hottest day of the year.

6. June: X Marks The Spot

How to do it: While lying on a flat surface — a table is
pretty awesome for this one — lift your legs up and cross them at the ankles or
knees, whatever feel best for you. With your legs up, your partner, while in a
standing position, penetrates you, while using your legs as leverage to pull themselves
in deeper. It’s also a great position
for people with smaller penises

Why it’s good for June: June is a big transition month. It’s
not just because we’re going into a new season, but it’s also the halfway
point in the year. What this means is that all that talk about having sex on
the kitchen table should absolutely happen in June.

7. July: Doggy Style

How to do it: Simply, get on your hands and knees, and have
your partner penetrate you from a kneeling position. If you can, arch your back
for deeper penetration and G-spot

Why it’s good for July: July is hot and sweaty and primal
and perfect for doggy style. They don’t call them the dog days of summer for

8. August: Cowgirl

How to do it: With your partner on their back, straddle them
and lower yourself onto your partner while facing them. You can either do this
while in an up-right, sitting position or lying flat against them — it’s your

Why it’s good for August: I mean, look at you! You’re
relaxed, been kissed by the sun a few times, and you're probably in vacation mode. Because of this, you want to be on top, especially before you have to say goodbye to Summer Fridays and the
world gets all stressful again.

9. September: Modified Doggy Style

How to do it: Basically, you’re getting into doggy style for
this one, but you’re lowering yourself down so you’re either flat on the bed,
with your partner on you, or on your elbows as opposed to your hands. This is
actually a great position for people who love doggy style, but have weak

Why it’s good for September: Honestly, doggy style is always
a good idea, but since we’re getting into the Fall, this position is great because
it’s a closer, more intimate version of doggy style, which is something you
just sometimes want as you begin to realize that winter is just around the

10. October: Legs Up Missionary

How to do it: Starting in missionary position, roll your
hips back a bit with your legs in the air. From here, your partner penetrates
you, while you rest your legs on their shoulders.

Why it’s good for October: By this point, you’re probably
over 2017 and are officially ready for 2018. So, since you’ve thrown your arms
up in the air and are just done, you might as well throw your legs up in the
air, too.

11. November: 69

How to do it: Lying down, facing your partner, but head to
foot, pull them in close to you so you can give them oral while they orally
stimulate your clitoris with their tongue

Why it’s good for November: Maybe it’s at this point in the
year that you realize you haven’t had enough oral sex in 2017. If that’s the
case, then you really need to get on that… and what better way than 69? You
both get to enjoy it at once, totally making it a win-win position.

12. December: Standing

How to do it: Either facing toward your partner or away from
them (with a wall for support), spread your legs and have your partner
penetrate you while standing. Depending on the height difference, this will
involve both you guiding them inside you, as well as some adjusting and
readjusting your standing positions.

Why it’s good for December: December is a hectic month for
everyone. So many holidays, so many holiday parties, all those family
obligations, trying to figure out why your company still does a gift swap  all of it is just too much. So, what it comes down to is that you need a
sex position that’s all about getting
a quickie as much as possible
. Then you can go about your obligations with a
lovely, “I just got laid” glow on your face.

Images: Caroline Wurtzel/Bustle

Bizarre equipment left behind in let cars revealed

  • Car hire company Goldcar revealed the items left in its fleet of rental cars
  • Items, collected by its Spanish offices, included pets and family members 
  • One couple left their baby in a car in Seville - who was quickly returned 

Qin Xie For Mailonline



Holidaymakers are understandably a little forgetful in the rush to return hire cars and get to the airport - but some of the items they've left behind will most certainly surprise you.

Amazingly, pets and sleeping family members, including babies, have been left behind, according to one rental firm.

And some car rental company staff have even been left removing sex toys and faeces from cars returned to them.

According to Goldcar, a couple left their baby, still in his chair, at their Seville office (file photo)

According to Goldcar, a couple left their baby, still in his chair, at their Seville office (file photo)

According to car hire company Goldcar, scores of unusual items were left at their 80 centres in Spain by frantic holidaymakers this summer.

In Seville, one customer forgot his West Highland Terrier while a couple forgot their baby, still in his child seat, when they rushed to catch their flight.

The child was soon discovered in this case and returned to his parents. 

At another office, staff helped a customer retrieve a bag filled with sex toys, which were described as for 'professional use'.

In his haste, on customer left €900 (£803) in cash in the glove compartment - which luckily he was able to get back.

One 70-year-old driver reportedly left a pair of G-strings and a photograph signed by Italian goalkeeper Gianluigi Buffon under the seat, which are still unclaimed.

In previous years, customers have also left bullets, an artificial leg and dentures (file photo)

In previous years, customers have also left bullets, an artificial leg and dentures (file photo)

But while these items might seem unusual, they're far from unique.

In previous years, staff at the car hire company have discovered everything from a sleeping grandmother and dentures to a box of bullets and a police badge in the cars they've checked back in. 

And according to Australian car comparison site VroomVroomVroom, even stranger things have been found in the past, including a grenade, ashes in an urn and a black ostrich hat that likely belonged to a Scottish piper.

On one occasion, a staff cleaning a car even found human faeces inside a takeaway box according to 


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You can leave your shawl on: Scholar says Puritans were sexy

BOSTON (AP) — “Fifty Shades of Grey,” Puritan edition?

The famously strait-laced 17th-century sectarians who helped settle America weren’t nearly as priggish as you might think, a leading Puritan scholar says.

Letters penned by Puritan forefathers including Colonial Gov. John Winthrop evoke more passion than prudishness, said Francis Bremer, a professor emeritus of history at Pennsylvania’s Millersville University.

Register now: Join Tonya Ugoretz, director of Cyber Threat Intelligence Integration Center for a free online chat on Tuesday, October 25 at 1 p.m.

Bremer is presenting his latest research next week at Boston’s Old South Meeting House, at an event dubbed “Ravishing Affection: Myths and Realities about Puritans and Sex.”

“The Puritans believed that everything God created was naturally good — including intercourse,” he said. “They weren’t hostile to sexuality. They saw sex and love as important factors to help a man and a woman form a passionate relationship and strengthen it.”

He points to a love letter that Winthrop wrote in 1618 to his wife, Margaret Tyndall, as an example of Puritan passion.

In the letter, Winthrop — one of the founders of the Massachusetts Bay Colony — speaks of “being filled with the joy of thy love, and wanting opportunity of more familiar connection with thee, which my heart fervently desires.”

Thomas Hooker, a Puritan who founded what would become Connecticut, was even more explicit.

“The man whose heart is endeared to the woman he loves, he dreams of her in the night, hath her in his eye an apprehension when he awakes, museth on her as he sits at table, walks with her when he travels, and parlies with her in each place where he comes … She lies in his bosom, and his heart trusts in her, which forceth all to confess, that the stream of his affection, like a mighty current, runs with full tide and strength.”

Not that New England’s Puritans were swingers. Scholars agree they clung to decidedly conservative Calvinist beliefs about love and marriage. H.L. Mencken defined Puritanism as “the haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.”

Lisa Wade, a sociologist at Occidental College in Los Angeles and an expert on sexual culture and gender, says the Puritans viewed marriage — always monogamous and never same-sex — primarily as a means of producing children.

It wasn’t until two centuries later, at the twilight of the Victorian era, that the notion of romantic love as a key reason to pair off took hold.

Even so, Bremer — who has written 16 books about Puritanism — says letters and sermons suggest the Puritans were eager and attentive lovers.

The Puritans got their name from their desire to “purify” the Church of England, which they thought was corrupt. Yet they openly discussed sexuality and freely expressed passionate longings toward their spouses, and their sermons likened an intense and affectionate marriage relationship to Christ’s love for the church.

“One thing that surprises the heck out of everyone is that people were charged — both in church and civil cases — with NOT engaging in sex with their spouse,” Bremer said.

If the average Puritan had posted a relationship status, it surely would be: “It’s complicated.” But Bremer hopes his research will help dispel enduring myths.

“It becomes very easy to say, ‘Oh, well, they didn’t like sex at all,'” he said. “The myths lead people to say these are individuals we don’t want to know anything more about. But the Puritans have a lot to teach us.”


Follow Bill Kole on Twitter at His work can be found at

How we too can final 25 mins longer in bed and save yourself …


It doesn’t matter if you’re hitting the right spots or not – if you last only 30 seconds, there’s no way your partner is going to have orgasms. Simple and short.

This article will tell you of the super effective method to bring your partner to orgasm, and 1 super effective method to make yourself last longer in bed. Click here now for the gist.

Talking about giving your Woman Massive Orgasm In Bed, do you know that female orgasm will never be possible if you, the man, don’t last long in bed?

Here is the gist… It takes an average woman 10 to 15 minutes of deep intense sex for her to orgasm. I mean hard core digging…not just any type.

Are you a bedroom magician? How do you intend to satisfy her when you only last 1 minute in bed with a tiny BLOKOS?

Stop dreaming and face the reality.

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HIV & AIDS Information :: Vaginal and rectal germ might have a large …

is a condition in which acid-loving aerobic (oxygen-using)
bacteria such as Lactobacillus are
largely replaced by species such as Gardnerella
which are anaerobic. It has for a
number of years been associated both with higher
rates of HIV acquisition
and transmission
in women. Other studies have suggested that it is not so much that the
anaerobic bacteria are inflammatory but that Lactobacillus is protective.

Irene Xie of Canada’s Public Health Agency told the
conference that there was considerably more bacterial vaginosis in women in
surveys from Africa than from North America. In women at low risk of HIV from
the US and Canada, Lactobacillus species
comprised two-thirds of vaginal flora. In surveys of women from Africa, they only comprised about one-third, with about two-thirds various anaerobic species,
especially Gardnerella and Prevotella. These are average proportions; in fact, women tended to
fall into two distinct categories, those without bacterial vaginosis and those
with, with quite separate bacterial populations, and no in-between states.

The anaerobic and aerobic bacteria in turn stimulated quite different
sets of inflammatory and skin-regeneration genes in the vaginal mucosa (lining),
which in turn means that whereas Lactobacillus
species actually promote wound healing, lesions heal 25% more slowly where Gardnerella is the main species. This is
why bacterial vaginosis is associated with higher HIV infection and transmission
rates. Interestingly, some injectable contraceptives disrupt the healing of the
mucosa through a similar mechanism.

also reported
at this year’s International AIDS Conference (AIDS 2016), vaginal
bacteria can also have an effect on drug concentrations when they are used in
microbicides. However here it is women who do not have bacterial vaginosis who are in danger of low drug levels.
The drugs tenofovir and dapivirine, used in gels and rings, are efficiently
absorbed by Lactobacillus crispatus,
the most common species, resulting in drug concentrations in vaginal tissues ten
times lower in women where this species predominates.

Although this problem can be overcome by ensuring high
enough levels in the vagina itself, it could result in loss of efficacy – and may
explain some infections – in situations where microbicides are used
intermittently. The prodrugs of tenofovir which are taken orally, tenofovir
disoproxil fumarate (TDF) and tenofovir alafenamide (TAF) are not absorbed, so
should maybe be considered for use in microbicides too.

Will a Real Holy Ghost Please Stand Up?

The church needs a proper theology of the Holy Spirit.
The church needs a proper theology of the Holy Spirit. (Flickr/JDB1961)

"My speech and my preaching was not with enticing words of man's wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power, so that your faith should not stand in the wisdom of men, but in the power of God" (1 Cor. 2:4-5, MEV).

"Share the things that you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses with faithful men who will be able to teach others also" (2 Tim. 2:2).

There are real demonstrations of the Spirit and then there are demonstrations of the flesh. The body of Christ has to learn the difference. There will be a move of the Spirit that will be lost to this present generation if it is not passed on through precept and example by those who know something about it.

One time a young believer prophesied: "Don't be scared my children, but if you are scared, that's okay, because I get scared sometimes myself."

Now that prophecy is easy to judge, isn't it? It would be funny if it wasn't so pathetic.

Here is an excerpt of another prophecy that someone once gave: "I have no other church like this church. And I've put you on a pedestal for the world to see how great you are."

That one is also easy to judge. A true prophecy will never exalt a church or a man like that to where they think so highly of themselves. And not all prophecy is from heaven to Earth, or "thus saith the Lord" utterances. Much of prophecy is from Earth to heaven.

For example, speaking or singing in psalms, hymns and spiritual songs by the inspiration of the Holy Ghost is prophecy. This is something every believer should be doing in their prayer life. Also, preaching by the inspiration of the Holy Ghost has an element of prophecy in it. I've preached nearly entire messages that were by the spirit of prophecy.

There is more error in the utterance gifts—divers tongues, interpretation of tongues and prophecy—because we initiate those gifts. They are supposed to be initiated by the unction of the Holy Ghost, but many do not know the difference between the anointing and their own emotions or mind.

Many of today's prophecies draw attention to the greatness of a man. We don't see that in the New Testament. Go through the book of Acts and tell me where you find that. True prophecy will edify, exhort and comfort us and glorify God, not glorify man. There is no reverence for God in a word that magnifies and draws attention to man.

Lack of true reverence for God is one of the problems in the church today. There is a lightness and a casualness in many of our gatherings. People come in late. They move around or leave casually during the meeting. There have been times over the years when I've been preaching or prophesying under the anointing of the Spirit and people get distracted or restless and start moving around. Even as a former Catholic I had more reverence for God than that.

A hip-hip hooray, clap-happy attitude is dissipating the presence and power of God from our midst.

It's difficult sometimes to impart that understanding to people. The old-time Pentecostals knew something about the deeper move of the Spirit. This new generation of Pentecostals and modern Charismatics know almost nothing about the real depth of the move of God's Spirit. Instead of cooperating with the Spirit of God, people often hinder Him. We need to be sensitive.

Years ago I was visiting my parents' church one Sunday and while sitting in the congregation the Spirit of God came on me to dance. I don't usually dance unless I'm really prompted to by the Spirit. The seats were close together so I stepped out in the aisle and began to dance. A person sitting behind me got up and tapped me on my shoulder and told me he couldn't see the words of the song on the screen because I was blocking his view. As soon as he did that the Spirit of God just flew away like a bird and I lost the unction to dance. If that person was sensitive, he would've been dancing himself.

Dancing in the Spirit brings God's presence and a refreshing to a congregation. It is not only the person dancing that gets blessed but those in the meeting who are in the Spirit also get blessed. There's a heavenly fragrance that goes out over the whole crowd sometimes. When there's liberty like that in a meeting, great things can happen.

I remember several years ago when I was preaching in another nation, there was an outbreak of joy and liberty in the Holy Ghost and people were healed without anyone touching them or praying for them. There was a young demon-possessed man outside the meeting venue that was arrested by the power of God and couldn't move. He was stuck to the ground. Eventually he came loose and some ushers brought him into the meeting and he was set free, born again and Spirit filled.

When there is too much formality and ritualism in a meeting, it kills the liberty of the Spirit and brings a heaviness.

In some of our meetings, my wife will often take the microphone and begin praying or singing in the Spirit. As she does, the atmosphere at times becomes impregnated with the presence of God. When that happens I usually can't start the meeting the way I intended to. Preliminaries are scratched out as we move together in another direction. A greater liberty comes and it changes the entire meeting. Every praise and worship leader ought to move in that operation to prepare the way for the Spirit of God and His ministry gifts (Eph. 4:11).

Praise and worship in the Spirit will give birth to manifestations and the opposite is also true. Manifestations of the Spirit like a tongue and interpretation, a prophecy, a revelation or a healing will also give birth to high praise and worship in the Spirit. Often dancing and rejoicing in the Spirit breaks out. The after effects of meetings like that bring a believer closer to the Lord and can carry them for weeks or until they learn to get filled up themselves. This is true edification and what the Lord wants for His people.

I've been in gatherings when people have just danced to put on something, or just danced to the music. That's just fleshly dancing. Now godly music helps to enhance the anointing, but you don't even need music to dance in the Spirit. There are now churches that conduct dance classes to teach people how to dance. You can't teach people to dance in the Spirit. Dancing is a result of being filled with the Spirit.

There is also laughter in the Spirit. Many refer to it as holy laughter. Others don't understand it because they've never been in the Spirit. At times I laugh in my own personal prayer time. I've had belly laughs and begged the Lord to stop because my stomach was hurting. People are often healed and set free from bondage or oppression from laughing.

You see, because people are negative by nature, they tend to criticize what they don't understand or have never experienced. That is how it is with the things of the Spirit. Even reputable men in the body of Christ have criticized the move of the Spirit because of all the excesses and extremes they've seen. Some have even denied the entire thing and call the Pentecostal/Charismatic movement a fraud. And some of these are leading men who lead entire denominations and congregations of people. How sad and how grievous it is to deceive and divide the body of Christ like that! May God have mercy on such ignorance.

One of the drawbacks I see an increase in today is people doing things without the anointing. Recently I went to a minister's prayer meeting and one young minister prophesied over me for about five minutes. None of it was right. I did not bear witness to any of his words. He went on about how he saw this and he saw that, and it was just all his imagination. He substituted imagination for true revelation. A person can close his eyes or keep them open and see anything he wants. Many claim to have visions but many times they are mind visions, not spiritual visions. A person can visualize anything they imagine. And yet I absolutely believe in visions and revelation and seeing and knowing things by the Spirit of God.

The plan of God in the New Testament is for every believer to be filled with the Spirit and to maintain that infilling. The older and more experienced ministers have got to teach, demonstrate, and lead people into these things. When they don't then people will try and substitute other things for it. There will be fakery, hype and superficiality as people try and fill that void and barrenness, or they will continue on in their traditions and unbelief and have deadness and dryness.

Oh, but when the real move of the Spirit of God is in manifestation in our midst and we flow with Him, that river will get deeper and wider, and we will enjoy His presence and the needs of the people will be met.

Praise God!

Bert M. Farias, revivalist and founder of Holy Fire Ministries, has authored several books with an emphasis on helping to restore the true spirit of Christianity in the Church today, including the newly released, Passing on The Move of God to The Next Generation. An anointing of fire marks his ministry with frequent demonstrations of the Spirit and power of God. He ministers interdenominationally and cross-culturally in nations, churches, conferences, on the streets and in homes. He and his wife Carolyn also host The Holy Ghost Forum – a school of the Spirit. Follow him at Bert Farias and Holy Fire Ministries on Facebook and @Bertfarias1on Twitter.


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False Prophets | Holy Spirit | Prophecy

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